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Hard Rock Hallelujah

"Why did you turn it off? It was so nice...", said the old lady we all know, listening to Highway Star at full blast in that Phillips powerhouse stereo ad when her husband turns it off.

It is not the latest dance number that the dumb assed djs are mixing with their phat soundz maan.
It's about the almighty heavy metal thunder of the geetaaar...!
Well dude, seriously, it’s been turned on now.

Bring in the noise, fire up the almighty riff, throw the television out of the window, wake up the neighbors and bring down the roof.
Barbarians are at the door, kids down the road are singing Hard Rock Hallelujah for an anthem.
Metal has made a major comeback; I'm chanting it like a mantra since my second post on this blog.

Hail Lordi!
51st Eurovision Song Contest of 2006 in Athens had an unlikely winner as Lordi walked away with the trophy on May 20th, beating a love song balladeer from Finland.
The Finnish band Lordi won the contest with the song "Hard Rock Hallelujah" with 292 points, the highest points total in Eurovision history (although the pool of points available has steadily increased over the years as the number of participating countries has increased and changing scoring systems). "Hard Rock Hallelujah" was the first ever hard rock song to win the contest (Eurovision is normally associated with softer pop music and schlager).
Schlager for the uninitiated, (German Schlager, literally "a hit") is a style of popular music that is prevalent in northern Europe, in particular Germany, Austria, Switzerland and Scandinavia, but also to a lesser extent in France, Belgium and the Netherlands.
It is characterised by sweet, overly sentimental ballads with a simple and memorable melody on the one hand and light, pleasant and forgettable pop tunes and arrangements on the other hand. Its lyrics are typically centered around love and relationships, and feelings.
Hey wait a minute, what happened to loose chaddi hip hoppers, shrieking divas and teenyboppers?

'Things have changed', as old Bob Dylan said once chomping those burgers in a song that was featured Michael Douglas starring The Wonder Boys.

The Offspring was right, Kids Aren't Alright.

The Eurovision was the springboard for many a likes of Abba, Celine Dion and their ilk. Never a continent had such a mass identity crisis at a larger scale when Lordi just came in, destroyed and walked away.

Not really. But something like that.

Anyone who has seen will admit that it was pure fun. The band who looked JRR Tolkien's characters from middle earth or something. Hilarious make-up but the music was really fun.
But more fun is beating up the mainstream assholes with heavy guitar. Now that's what I call music!
Get a load of these dudes here.

What followed was a major uproar in the media and behind the scenes as well. Here's some stuff that sorrounded the Lordi's participation and final victory, collected from various sources:

  1. First, Finnish religious leaders warned that the Freddy Krueger look-alikes could inspire Satanic worship.

  2. Then critics called for President Tarja Halonen to use her constitutional powers to veto the band and nominate a traditional Finnish folk singer instead.

  3. Rumors even circulated that Lordi members were agents sent by President Vladimir V. Putin to destabilize Finland before a Russian coup β€” an explanation for their refusal to take off their freakish masks in public.

  4. The fury also spread in Greece, winner of last year's Eurovision and therefore the host of this year's contest, where an anti-Lordi movement called Hellenes urged the Finnish government "to say 'no' to this evil group."

  5. One young Finn calling himself Suomi (Finland in Finnish) wrote to a newspaper Web log saying, "If Lordi wins Eurovision, I am leaving the country."

Many had feared that the hideously costumed group β€” complete with bloody gashes, protruding horns and war axes β€” would tarnish Finland's image abroad. But now the media and officials openly describe the group as heroes, and even skeptic journalists apologized for not believing in their success.

Thank you Lordi for a firm kick in the rears of those pop idol wannabes, teenyboppers and those evil media svengalis.
Eurovision will never be the same again!

Things have changed.
If you havent been living in a cave for the past few months or something you'd have no way of knowing why metal in general has made a comeback.
If you dont like music that at least requires little amount creativity before it hits the sheleves in the music stores or the TV screens, take your mug out of this screen and visit google to search for britney spears fan pages or some shit like that.

What happened all of a sudden?
I dont know surely know the exact reason for such a rude awakening of the beast, it was asleep for some time since the mid 90s.
Things are getting exciting now, take out your Obituary t-shirts and your Emperor records and stuff from the backlands of your closet that you had grown up with.

"Rockin' aint no walk in the park, lady", said Jack Black in Richard Linklater's School of Rock. Anyone who contests this statement will be awarded with a kick in the nuts or whatever.

Maybe the world is waking up to Rock music at last or may be its just the rude awakening of the beast.
I dont want to believe the latter.
Let the whole damn world shake their booties to a new song by, whatchamicallit, ummmm BlackAssed Peas(!), no thank you.
Space Monkeys can go to hell.
My Carcass records give me enough fix to last for another 10 years.

World domination?
Abso-fucking-lutely. Its just a matter of time that Rock / metal music will take over the major charts and cover all the screens all over the world. And adorn many walls and tees as well.

Meanwhile would you, like, crank up the volume, dude?


4 Responses to “Hard Rock Hallelujah”

  1. # Blogger Raasa

    This stuff is crazy coool Max...  

  2. # Anonymous Metal Head (KP)

    Cool one,

    Praise the Lordi, Hallelujah has come to town !!!

    BTB i would love to see / hear the philips ad mentioned in the first line, loooong time since i felt that feeling of schooldays, wanna feel it again !!!  

  3. # Blogger maxdiamond

    Well i tried looking for that ad but it is not available anywhere and no mention of that ad as well.
    That was one true metalhead ad. the good ol' days.  

  4. # Blogger metalmaniac

    its kool annie !  

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